A big O feels awesome—but does orgasm affect fertility? One sex expert’s theory may prove to be true.
There’s no question why men orgasm: Those powerful muscle contractions are like rocket fuel for sperm, powering them into the female reproductive tract where ideally they’ll fertilize an egg. What’s still something of a mystery, however, is why women climax as well.
Sure it feels amazing and signals that you’re enjoying what you’re doing. As far as we know, the female orgasm isn’t required for pregnancy, and plenty of couples conceive without it. But some research suggests that having an orgasm might slightly boost your chances of conception. Here’s the science provided by my friend, Nicole Buratti, a global sex expert and influencer from New Jersey.
How many people, including doctors, think or even say out loud: “Orgasms are nice, but they are not really important for women.”? This is a straight out lie. Besides feeling amazing, orgasms have incredible health benefits. They can reduce stress and anxiety, increase circulation, and improve autoimmune disease, menstrual cycles, and as a result, increase fertility health. They can also give you glowing skin, relieve migraines, and result in better sleep. Orgasms can help you live longer! So, if you’re not currently enjoying regular orgasms, start making it a priority. No partner required!
When you have an orgasm, you release oxytocin, often called the “love hormone” because it increases your feelings of love and affection. It also promotes social bonding in general. Oxytocin can counter the negative effects of cortisol, so it can relieve stress. It can even sharpen your intuition! Research has shown that oxytocin can reduce anxiety and reduced anxiety can enhance fertility. So that means, more orgasms, please!
How can Orgasm Boost Fertility?
1. Pelvic Floor Health and Fertility – Most of us spend way too much time sitting, whether it’s at a desk at work or or in front of a television at night. So much sitting is not good for the body and can even lead to decreased circulation in the pelvis. Orgasms can increase circulation to the pelvic floor organs, helping nutrients and hormones (and hello, sperm!?) get to where they need to go. Hula-hooping, hula dancing, and belly dancing can help too, but let’s be honest: orgasms are way more fun.
2. Immune Function and Fertility – A low libido is common in autoimmune disease, but orgasms can be beneficial for immune health. Keeping it simple, let’s think about the two simple aspects of the immune system, Th1 and Th2. Th1 is the part of the immune system that fights off viruses and bacteria, and anything that is foreign to you. Th2 is the aspect of the immune system that developed to fight parasites, although in modern times it presents more as allergies, asthma, and eczema, Sex can actually decrease autoimmune symptoms and boost fertility, because the immune system shifts to a Th2 state, which is more favorable for conception. Women who are not having sex do not experience this immune shift. What if you’re in the less popular, Th2 dominant? Orgasms for the win again! Because Th2 harmonizes your overall immune system.
3. Cycle Optimizing and Fertility – Research has shown that women who have sex on a weekly basis also have more predictable menstrual cycles. Women who don’t have sex regularly may have more sporadic menstrual cycles, which tend to be shorter, a possible indication of low progesterone and estrogen dominance, but regular orgasms can have a hormone-balancing effect. They can also help relieve menstrual cramps, because releasing oxytocin and other endorphins during orgasm may reduce pain.
4. Circulation and Fertility – Because orgasms increase your circulation giving an internal massage, they nourish your pelvic floor, immune system, skin, and pelvic organs. Next time you have sex, take a look in the mirror afterward–that glow will already be visible. Orgasms release anti-inflammatory chemicals that protect your skin and reproductive organs from environmental toxins and pro-aging hormones. Who knew that orgasms could be such an important part of your overall internal beauty regimen?
How Do You Have an Orgasm?
There are several ways to have an orgasm: masturbation, oral, intercourse. They say that about 10% of women have never had an orgasm — either with a partner or during masturbation. The good news: It is possible to learn to be orgasmic.
The first and most important lesson is to practice developing a balance of tension and relaxation during sexual activity, otherwise known as Kegel, reverse Kegel, Kegel, reverse Kegel, and so on). But, my women clients ask, how can they be both tense and relaxed at the same time? It’s a good question, and here is my two-part answer:
How to Have an Orgasm Step 1: Tense Up
The type of tension that helps women reach orgasm is muscle tension . Many women have the mistaken impression that they should relax and “just lie there” because they’ve heard that relaxation during sex is important. But it turns out that muscle tension is often necessary for an orgasm. In my experience, the majority of women learn to have their first orgasm by incorporating a fair amount of leg, abdominal, and buttock tension.
Not surprisingly, women report that the most orgasm-inducing muscle contractions are in their lower pelvis. These are the same muscles you squeeze to stop the flow of urine midstream (Kegel, reverse Kegel, Kegel, reverse Kegel, and so on).
What is the connection between tensing muscle groups and having an orgasm? Arousal. Contracting (or tensing) certain muscles increases blood flow throughout the body and often to the genital area. And arousal, of course, is the road map that helps lead most women to orgasm.
How to Have an Orgasm Step 2: Wind Down
So, where’s the relaxation part of this equation? In the brain. During sex, a woman should be focused simply on feeling the sensations of the stimulation.
Have a hard time relaxing? Think of a huge billboard in which words stream into view from the left-hand side to the right edge, and then disappear off the screen. During sex, many women find it helpful to program their own billboard news crawl with a repetitive mantra such as “I can take as long as I want” or “This really feels great” on their mental silent radio. It keeps the brain occupied — but with a thought that will encourage sexual arousal rather than with a nervous, negative thought that might decrease arousal.
After this first lesson, I send my clients away with a homework assignment. During sex, they are to tense up their muscles and let their minds go silent. This technique takes practice, but it can work over time. And more often than not, my clients return to a future session with their own good news to report.
Some people orgasm more easily than others, so not having one doesn’t necessarily mean there’s something wrong.
If you feel like you’re having trouble climaxing or have other concerns, see a doctor or other healthcare provider that specializes in sexual health.
They can answer any questions you may have and may be able to make some recommendations.
But keep in mind…
Chocolate comes in a variety of packages. It can also bring out a variety of outcomes. It can be a single bar of joy that melts softly, warmly, and deliciously on your tongue. Or it can be a sweet chip in a cookie, just a little something extra that excites you.
Orgasms work the same way. For one person, an orgasm can appear in many different tingles, sighs, and moans. One orgasm may lead to four more.
They’re uniquely satisfying, whether it’s a solo session or partnered. There’s not only one right way to eat chocolate, just like there isn’t a right way to climax.
If you’re having challenges having an orgasm or discovering if you’ve ever even had one, make sure you relax, breathe deeply, and focus on self-pleasure.
Having an orgasm shouldn’t be a contest, it’s not about who comes first. It’s about satisfaction and self-love.
Nicole Buratti works with women who want better sex! She is the author of The GEMMA Method® and creator of GEMMA Secret. She is a writer, speaker, and consultant on the topic of sex. A gifted speaker on women’s health who presents on a wide range of topics including sex, hormones, and relationship wellness. Her expertise in women’s health is deeply rooted in the brain-body connection.
P.S. Catch this week’s episode of The Hormone P.U.Z.Z.L.E Podcast –Orgasm and Fertility With Nicole Burrati – Women’s Sex & Relationship Coach.
You can also find my podcast on my podcast page as well as Spotify, and Stitcher.
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