What is the worst thing that someone has said to you while you are struggling with infertility and fighting reproductive disorders?
I know how it felt when asked insensitive questions because I have gone through Stage IV Endometriosis – a reproductive disorder and infertility.
Written by Guest Blogger: Jessica L Conrad, Owner of Awakenings Wellness Center in NJ and a Certified Life Coach.
If you will ask me, the worst things were:
- You don’t want kids?
- You don’t look sick.
And even after I have been blessed with a beautiful child, I am still unsafe with very insensitive comments like “You’re selfish or only having one child” or “You’ll regret only having one child”. And these people don’t have the slightest idea of my struggles or what I have been through.
I went through all the answers that I received and came up with a list of the most common comments.
- Just Adopt
- Just Relax
- Stop Trying
- You don’t look sick
- Stop whining
- Everything happens for a reason
- My friend tried xyz and now she’s pregnant
Some runners up are “I know how you feel, I get cramps too” and there was this one person that has actually told me “I know how you feel, it took me like 3 months to get pregnant”.
Unfortunately, you can’t control what comes out of other people’s mouths as much as you’d like to. You can’t also control everything that is happening to you. But you can control your reaction. And instead of getting angry about it and keep playing it over and over in your head, Don’t let it affect you, and don’t let it drive your energy so down. You can just let it pass. Try to be open and honest with yourself about what you are going through – your infertility struggles and/or your reproductive disorder you are facing. That will help you not to feel ashamed or embarrassed about your struggles. It will also help to create awareness and even educate people about your condition. Turn the anger and pain into a learning experience. Because based on my personal experiences, I found that most of these people who gave thoughtless remarks really don’t mean to be hurtful or malicious.
Remember that “You Always Have A Choice”. You can choose how you respond to things and that you get to choose whether you want to stay negative and angry or simply move onward and upward.
You can also try to write your feelings and thoughts. It can help to give you clarity and keep the facts of the matter accurate. So you can look at it objectively and choose whether this is really something you want to spend your time and energy on.
You can also try to find and be part of a support group. For sure you can find others that are also going through the same things. And sometimes it helps to be around others that have no prior judgment of you. So you can vent out without worries which could help extinguish all the negative emotion and anger you felt.
Jessica L Conrad is the Owner of Awakenings Wellness Center in Monmouth Beach, NJ and is a Certified Life Coach. She has a Masters in Holistic Health Studies and Bachelors in Psychology from Georgian Court University. She has suffered from Stage IV Endometriosis since her early Twenties, has undergone several surgeries, and battled Infertility for years. Jessica used all she had learned from School and Life and became pregnant naturally. She know has a private practice where she works as an Advocate and Life Coach for other women with Infertility and Endometriosis.
P.S. Catch this week’s episode of The Hormone P.U.Z.Z.L.E Podcast –Endometriosis and How to Overcome It Holistically with our guest blogger, Jessica Conrad.
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